Señora Says

We've created a new game in honor of all the funny, crazy, ridiculous things our señora says to us. It's called Señora Says...and I just wanted to spread the laughter.

Señora says...

"You're getting fat because you eat bread with dinner."
(NOT because she gives us two slices of bread for breakfast along with four cookies and fruit, two sandwiches for lunch, and meals the size of Thanksgiving dinner).

(One day, we told her that we really like it when she makes a sandwich of just cheese for one of our two lunch sandies).
"Well I'm not going to give you a cheese sandwich every day because cheese makes you fat."

"You're sick because you leave the window open at night." But, Pepi, we haven't left the window open at night for more than a month. "Close the window at night and you won't get sick." Okay?

One day, we're sitting in our room studying and Pepi walks in.
"OPEN THE WINDOW! It smells like FEET in here!"

One night at dinner, she points to the wheat bread she buys for her and her daughter and tells us, "This bread has medicine in it. The doctor told me to eat it. It doesn't taste good, but I have to eat it for my health." Translation: I buy you girls the fugly, cheap white bread for a reason. Don't touch my more expensive wheat bread.

We have two French girls staying with us and they don't speak much Spanish. When I asked how long they had been studying for, they said three years. To this, Pepi responded, "Three years!?! I thought you hadn't studied Spanish at all!!"

My roommate told Pepi that her stomach hurt. "It's because you don't blow your nose. All the congestion drains back into your stomach, so it hurts. You need to stop sniffling and blow your nose."